Oliver Stone Conversion Machine

Too many crappy Oliver Stone movies cluttering up your garage, shed, or closet space? Buy an Oliver Stone Conversion Machine, now on sale for only $29.99. If you call within the hour, we'll throw in a free mango! The Oliver Stone Conversion Machine converts rotten, smelly Oliver Stone movies into actual quality products! Here's how it works. Place the VHS, DVD, or film reel into the machine, press the button, and a much better replacement comes out. Here are some examples of recent conversions:
Seizure -> Hollywood Boulevard

The Hand -> Mad Love

Salvador -> The Quiet American

Platoon -> Full Metal Jacket

Wall Street -> Sweet Smell of Success

Talk Radio -> Aah, this one's actually not that bad

Born on the Fourth of July -> Who'll Stop the Rain

The Doors -> This Is Spinal Tap

JFK -> Report

Heaven & Earth -> go outside and get some fresh air

Natural Born Killers -> Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

Nixon -> The Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover

U Turn -> Deliverance

Any Given Sunday -> Slap Shot

Alexander -> Glen or Glenda

World Trade Center -> The Battle of Algiers

W. -> any random YouTube clip of our current lame duck

In the old days, you did what you had to do. If you didn't like it... eh, you liked it anyway.

from Robert Mulligan's Love with the Proper Stranger (1963)

American movies, 1970-1979

from Robert Altman's McCabe & Mrs. Miller (1971)

HEAR AND SEE 100 JUBILEE SINGERS!

from King Vidor's Hallelujah! (1929)

Musicians on film

Musicians on Film #1: The Yardbirds in Michelangelo Antonioni's Blowup (1966)

Happy Halloween Argento Triple Feature

from Dario Argento's
The Bird with the Crystal Plumage (1970)
Suspiria (1977)
Inferno (1980)

Wolfing Out in 1981

from:
Joe Dante's The Howling (1981)
John Landis' An American Werewolf in London (1981)

Mom, wake up, look what I found on the beach!

from John Carpenter's The Fog (1980)

American movies, 1970-1979

from Woody Allen's Bananas (1971)

Fassbinder as actor and director

Rainer Werner Fassbinder as actor and director:
Katzelmacher (1969)
Ali: Fear Eats the Soul (1974)

I must get this crack mended

from Roman Polanski's Repulsion (1965)

Cassavetes/Fuller

from:
John Cassavetes' A Child Is Waiting (1963)
Samuel Fuller's The Naked Kiss (1964)

Cassavetes/Romero

from the top:
John Cassavetes' Shadows (1959)
George Romero's Night of the Living Dead (1968)

Just another line in the field of time

from Dennis Hopper's Out of the Blue (1980)

American movies, 1970-1979

from Bob Rafelson's Five Easy Pieces (1970)

American Movies, 1970-1979

from Arthur Penn's Little Big Man (1970)

Pairs

from the top:
Guy Maddin's Dracula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary (2002)
Garry Winogrand's photograph "El Morocco" (1955)

Don't Touch the Axe

from Jacques Rivette's The Duchess of Langeais (2007)
I prefer the English translation of the French title, Ne touchez pas la hache ("Don't Touch the Axe"), to the actual English title, but what can you do?

Guillaume Depardieu, 1971-2008

I have seen dogs reason their way out of problems

from David Lynch's Inland Empire (2006)

I am a night bird. I am not much good in the daytime.

from Roman Polanski's The Fearless Vampire Killers (1967)

A couple of vampires

from the top:
Tom Holland's Fright Night (1985)
John McCain's Fright Night Part 3: One Heartbeat Away (2008)

American movies, 1970-1979

from Mike Nichols' Catch-22 (1970)

Toby Dammit

from Federico Fellini's Toby Dammit (1968), a segment in the anthology film Spirits of the Dead
(The rest of the movie sucks, but Fellini's short is fanmotherfuckingtastic)

Nosferatu x 2

from the top:
F.W. Murnau's Nosferatu (1922)
Werner Herzog's Nosferatu the Vampyre (1979)

Marfa milkshakes, friendo

from the top:
Joel & Ethan Coen's No Country for Old Men (2007)
Paul Thomas Anderson's There Will Be Blood (2007)

It's a Good Life

from "It's a Good Life," Joe Dante's segment from Twilight Zone: The Movie (1983)

Images of the Day

from David Lynch's Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me (1992)

American movies, 1970-1979

from Barbara Loden's Wanda (1970)

Image of the Day

from Martin Scorsese's The King of Comedy (1982)

Images of the Day

(from the top)
Robert Rossen's The Hustler (1961)
Sidney Lumet's The Verdict (1982)
Joel & Ethan Coen's The Hudsucker Proxy (1994)

Image of the Day

More like Image of the Night. I almost forgot.
from Preston Sturges' The Lady Eve (1941)

Image of the Day

from Leo McCarey's Ruggles of Red Gap (1935)

(North) American movies, 1970-1979

from David Cronenberg's Crimes of the Future (1970)

Images of the Day

Richard Linklater's Dazed and Confused (1993)
Alfred Hitchcock's Family Plot (1976)
Part 1 of an irregularly appearing series, Movie Theater Marquees in the Movies.

Coming soon: Gas Stations and Convenience Stores in the Movies

Image of the Day

from Jacques Rivette's Celine and Julie Go Boating (1974)

Image of the Day

from Robert Wise's The Haunting (1963)