Friday, November 07, 2008

Oliver Stone Conversion Machine

Too many crappy Oliver Stone movies cluttering up your garage, shed, or closet space? Buy an Oliver Stone Conversion Machine, now on sale for only $29.99. If you call within the hour, we'll throw in a free mango! The Oliver Stone Conversion Machine converts rotten, smelly Oliver Stone movies into actual quality products! Here's how it works. Place the VHS, DVD, or film reel into the machine, press the button, and a much better replacement comes out. Here are some examples of recent conversions:
Seizure -> Hollywood Boulevard

The Hand -> Mad Love

Salvador -> The Quiet American

Platoon -> Full Metal Jacket

Wall Street -> Sweet Smell of Success

Talk Radio -> Aah, this one's actually not that bad

Born on the Fourth of July -> Who'll Stop the Rain

The Doors -> This Is Spinal Tap

JFK -> Report

Heaven & Earth -> go outside and get some fresh air

Natural Born Killers -> Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer

Nixon -> The Private Files of J. Edgar Hoover

U Turn -> Deliverance

Any Given Sunday -> Slap Shot

Alexander -> Glen or Glenda

World Trade Center -> The Battle of Algiers

W. -> any random YouTube clip of our current lame duck

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