Bloscars

The Oscars don't really have much of anything to do with movies, but here are my brief reactions anyway.

The filmblog-nerdniverse is in consensus that Ellen DeGeneres was not very good. I don't agree. I thought she was really funny. They are also in consensus about it being one of the most boring Oscars ever. Have they forgotten the year the final "Lord of the Rings" movie won every goddamn category? That was a boring show. While I agree that most of the speeches this year were on the dull side, at least one movie didn't dominate the evening. I liked the lack of obvious frontrunners, and the variety of winners.

Ennio Morricone is a musical genius and deserved his recognition. However, who in the sweet merciful christ thought it was a good idea for Celine Dion to sing over one of his old instrumental pieces? That's sort of like having Dane Cook perform a Bill Hicks routine.

What the f. was Quincy Jones wearing? It appeared to be some sort of muu-muu/Slip N' Slide hybrid.

Al Gore's dick is bruised, swollen, and raw from the constant sucking it received last night. (That last sentence is neither a conservative nor liberal joke, but a moral one.)

Tom Hanks may never again be in a good film, but his reply to Chris Connelly's inane Access Hollywood-style question backstage after presenting an award was almost enough to make me forget "Forrest Gump." I'll try to find it on YouTube and put it up here later.

I'm glad Martin Scorsese won, even though "The Departed" is probably my least favorite of his movies (though "Gangs of New York" might be worse). I don't know why I care. The guy gets to do what he wants for a living, he's made some fantastic movies, why the hell does any successful person need even more validation when someone like me is collapsing under the weight of my own colossally mundane failures? I need a goddamn award for having a shit job and somehow dragging myself there most days. But I do care. I'm glad he has finally received his shiny naked gold man. I guess I'm as prone to collective celebrity hoopla as the next guy.

Finally, a quote from one of my favorite critics (and current New York Times DVD reviewer) Dave Kehr about last night's Celebrity Backslappapalooza 2007:
"No argument with Helen Mirren — but why is it suddenly the accepted attitude to treat the Queen of England as a saintly, quietly suffering underdog? But that, too, is the Academy: a bunch of proud liberals right up to the moment they’re allowed to kowtow to the British aristocracy."

Favorite Actor Monday to come later tonight, or maybe tomorrow.


UPDATE: I couldn't find the Tom Hanks thing on YouTube, but I did find this.